I was actually reprimanded for posting Tony A's steps on the adultchildren.org website in 2009. I was told by the admin there they were copyrighted. The link I had posted completely dissaopeared of the www. that same week. I thought man somebody most have some connection.
I also recognized alot of control on that website and was wounded by it.
Yet, they themselves; ACA WSO had two full paragraphs out of Tony A.'s book The ACOA Experience, The Laundry List written in thier book, they ACA Text a.k.a. big red book.
Why is that book so big? Makes me wonder if that was not some kind of ego thing. The biggest book of all. Sadly, it is so big my daughter did not want it when I tried to give it to her. It is almost intellectual abuse in sorts.
I was told by an ACA member that the ACA Text itself is schizophrenic. I can certainly tell it was written by many different authors. I am so glad I see Tony's steps being posted in mnay diffferent places today.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Getting Involved in ACA Service
This current ACA WSO is very,very small. How big was the group conscience when this text came out if there actually was no existing service structure or very, very little to speak of?
If you have read any of my other blog posts you can see I am a bit upset. God bless the heroes but I feel a few are currently strangling this fellowship.
As a past ACA WSO chair --- that is also currently banned form the ACA WSO website mentioned to me:
"The best revenge is a recovery well done"
I know maybe the ones that upset that exibit sick behavior are stand-ins maybe and that my attitude develpoed in my earlier years. Yet, when the stand-ins that exibit sick behavior and I set a boundary and use my voice certainly makes me feel better by confronting them.
ACA Text
page 603-606
In areas where many ACA meetings exist, an Intergroup is generally formed to provide a forum for conducting ACA business within a given geographical area, The individual groups continue to conduct their own group business; however, the groups can select a meeting representative to represent the group at an Intergroup meeting.
The Intergroup, therefore, is composed of members from the various ACA groups. the Intergroup helps coordinate helpline functions, public information efforts, hospitals and institutions meetings, and ACA events in a given area. An ACA Regional Service Committee serves a similar function by helping coordinate ACA functions and fellowship business among Intergroups in a geographical area.
When an Intergroup is formed, each ACA group elects an Intergroup representative, who attends a monthly or quarterly
Intergroup meeting.
If there is no Intergroup in your area, your group can elect a Group Service Representative, who can attend the Annual Business Conference. A Regional Service Committee serves as a coordinating point for several Intergroups in a geographical area. Integroup Representatives attend Regional Service Committee meetings as well. Here is how to establish an Intergroup or Regional service Committee directly responsible to those they serve.
1.) Contact ACA WSO for information on starting an Intergroup or Region. Also review material in this section on starting an ACA meeting. These suggestions may be helpful in forming ideas fro election of officers and how to conduct a business meeting.
2.) Think about your reasons to start a new service committee. Are you starting an Intergroup or Region to help yourself and others ? Are you starting the committee to reach out to other adult children and to promote ACA's growth and Unity.
3.) List the needs of your geographical area.
Does your area need an ACA helpline or part-time special worker?
Do you need to coordinate hospitals and institutions meetings?
Are the activities within your area coordinated so that the events are announced in a timely manner?
Is there an interest in a public information committee?
4.) Locate and arrange for meeting space and announce an organizational meeting for the Intergroup or Regional service Committee.
5.) Invite interested adult children to attend this introductory meeting providing them with the time, day, and place; exchange contact information. If possible, invite members from an established Intergroup or Region to your first meeting.
6.) To create an agenda for the first meeting, get input from those who might attend the meetings.
7.) Ask for help to run the meeting and set up the room. Ask someone to chair the meeting.
8.) Prepare a flyer announcing the meeting time and location. Also describe the purpose of the organizational meeting. Post the flyer at interested ACA groups or hand deliver them out to ACA members. Maintain an attitude of inclusiveness and enthusiasm. Ask ACA members if they are interested in helping ACA reach suffering adult children throughout your area.
9.) When the meeting day arrives, convene the meeting. Distribute the agendas and circulate a sign-in roster for telephone numbers and e-mail addresses. This will facilitate correspondence between meetings. Also pass out copies of the segment from this book on how to conduct an ACA business meeting.
10.) Introduce yourself and those helping organize the new Intergroup or Regional committee. Explain the reason for the meeting and the goals you hope to accomplish.
11.) Elect a temporary secretary to take minutes and a meeting leader to present the agenda.
12.) If appropriate, elect officers to establish the new service committee. (Officers would be a chairperson, secretary, and general committee member. A treasurer might be elected if there are group funds or the potential of group funds to be donated.) If more discussion is needed on the need for the new committee, delay the election of officers until the end of the meeting or until the next organizational meeting.
13.) Prioritize any identification needs as urgent, important, low priority, or short term solutions (In the beginning, keep it simple. Most new Intergroups focus on establishing an area helpline, organizing area events, or organizing volunteers for hospitals and institutions meetings.)
14.) Using a prioritizing list, brainstorm possible solutions.
15.) Select reasonable solutions, and ask for volunteers to work on implementing the solution.
16.) If appropriate, elect officers to establish the new subcommittees. The subcommittees could be public information, helpline, hospitals and institutions, or activities.
17.) Agree on a time and place for the next meeting. Adjourn the meeting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm...lots of good information on (suggested) telling other what to do and how to do it. I am surpised they did not say adjourn the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.
The Laundry List
by Tony A. and Dan F.
page 49
"The Hero almost invariably pushes to become one of the leaders of the ACOA group. Not surprisingly the heroes seem to be the driving force of the ACOA recovery program.....
the active HERO must learn about the recuperative value of sitting quietly in the back row, relinquishing control and wisely replacing it with self examination."
I don't want and won't let a hero enable me if I can and learned they certainly will rob me and others of adding thier voices, making my own mistakes, learning by my own mistakes etc... which is the wisdom of "each group being autonomous"...and NOT always thinking and assuming others in authority know what is best.
(My personal footnote #5 etc...) When inviting other "established group members" or even asking ACA WSO questions and others to attend an introductory meeting please be ware of controlling, un-recovered bleeding deacons and know it all controlling heroes, inviting others may actually enable those trying to learn and rob them of of lessons and learning on their own.
Laundry List Trait : "Letting others take the initiative" I feel needs to be balanced in this area.
I sense often information gatherers and 12 step parrots "contolling meetings" do have alot of answers but perhaps use service to avoid their own internal work. Often this is recreating a dysfucntional family, in recovery.
In my personal estimation it takes a controlling bleeding deacon and HEROES quite a while to make it to what is know in recovery language as "an elder statesperson."
I have also seem alot of heroes in recovery attracted to website monitor positions or maybe the position causes them to be controlling?
Suggested A.A. Service Manuel until ACA has their own:
Concept IX
page 36
Good service leaders, together with sound and appropriate methods of choosing them, are at all levels indispensable for the future functioning and SAFETY ........
" First let's remember the the base for our service structure rests on the dedication and ability of service of several thousand GENERAL SERVICE REPRESENTATIVES (GSR's), several hundred area Committee members, and nearly a hundred delegates.
These are the direct agents of the A.A. groups; these are the indispensable linkage between our fellowship and it's world service:
these are the primary Representatives of A.A.'s GROUP CONSCIENCE. without their support and activity we could not operate permanently at all."
Also some suggestions from the parent program: http://www.aa.org/catalog.cfm?origpage=207&product=44
If you have read any of my other blog posts you can see I am a bit upset. God bless the heroes but I feel a few are currently strangling this fellowship.
As a past ACA WSO chair --- that is also currently banned form the ACA WSO website mentioned to me:
"The best revenge is a recovery well done"
I know maybe the ones that upset that exibit sick behavior are stand-ins maybe and that my attitude develpoed in my earlier years. Yet, when the stand-ins that exibit sick behavior and I set a boundary and use my voice certainly makes me feel better by confronting them.
ACA Text
page 603-606
In areas where many ACA meetings exist, an Intergroup is generally formed to provide a forum for conducting ACA business within a given geographical area, The individual groups continue to conduct their own group business; however, the groups can select a meeting representative to represent the group at an Intergroup meeting.
The Intergroup, therefore, is composed of members from the various ACA groups. the Intergroup helps coordinate helpline functions, public information efforts, hospitals and institutions meetings, and ACA events in a given area. An ACA Regional Service Committee serves a similar function by helping coordinate ACA functions and fellowship business among Intergroups in a geographical area.
When an Intergroup is formed, each ACA group elects an Intergroup representative, who attends a monthly or quarterly
Intergroup meeting.
If there is no Intergroup in your area, your group can elect a Group Service Representative, who can attend the Annual Business Conference. A Regional Service Committee serves as a coordinating point for several Intergroups in a geographical area. Integroup Representatives attend Regional Service Committee meetings as well. Here is how to establish an Intergroup or Regional service Committee directly responsible to those they serve.
1.) Contact ACA WSO for information on starting an Intergroup or Region. Also review material in this section on starting an ACA meeting. These suggestions may be helpful in forming ideas fro election of officers and how to conduct a business meeting.
2.) Think about your reasons to start a new service committee. Are you starting an Intergroup or Region to help yourself and others ? Are you starting the committee to reach out to other adult children and to promote ACA's growth and Unity.
3.) List the needs of your geographical area.
Does your area need an ACA helpline or part-time special worker?
Do you need to coordinate hospitals and institutions meetings?
Are the activities within your area coordinated so that the events are announced in a timely manner?
Is there an interest in a public information committee?
4.) Locate and arrange for meeting space and announce an organizational meeting for the Intergroup or Regional service Committee.
5.) Invite interested adult children to attend this introductory meeting providing them with the time, day, and place; exchange contact information. If possible, invite members from an established Intergroup or Region to your first meeting.
6.) To create an agenda for the first meeting, get input from those who might attend the meetings.
7.) Ask for help to run the meeting and set up the room. Ask someone to chair the meeting.
8.) Prepare a flyer announcing the meeting time and location. Also describe the purpose of the organizational meeting. Post the flyer at interested ACA groups or hand deliver them out to ACA members. Maintain an attitude of inclusiveness and enthusiasm. Ask ACA members if they are interested in helping ACA reach suffering adult children throughout your area.
9.) When the meeting day arrives, convene the meeting. Distribute the agendas and circulate a sign-in roster for telephone numbers and e-mail addresses. This will facilitate correspondence between meetings. Also pass out copies of the segment from this book on how to conduct an ACA business meeting.
10.) Introduce yourself and those helping organize the new Intergroup or Regional committee. Explain the reason for the meeting and the goals you hope to accomplish.
11.) Elect a temporary secretary to take minutes and a meeting leader to present the agenda.
12.) If appropriate, elect officers to establish the new service committee. (Officers would be a chairperson, secretary, and general committee member. A treasurer might be elected if there are group funds or the potential of group funds to be donated.) If more discussion is needed on the need for the new committee, delay the election of officers until the end of the meeting or until the next organizational meeting.
13.) Prioritize any identification needs as urgent, important, low priority, or short term solutions (In the beginning, keep it simple. Most new Intergroups focus on establishing an area helpline, organizing area events, or organizing volunteers for hospitals and institutions meetings.)
14.) Using a prioritizing list, brainstorm possible solutions.
15.) Select reasonable solutions, and ask for volunteers to work on implementing the solution.
16.) If appropriate, elect officers to establish the new subcommittees. The subcommittees could be public information, helpline, hospitals and institutions, or activities.
17.) Agree on a time and place for the next meeting. Adjourn the meeting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm...lots of good information on (suggested) telling other what to do and how to do it. I am surpised they did not say adjourn the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.
The Laundry List
by Tony A. and Dan F.
page 49
"The Hero almost invariably pushes to become one of the leaders of the ACOA group. Not surprisingly the heroes seem to be the driving force of the ACOA recovery program.....
the active HERO must learn about the recuperative value of sitting quietly in the back row, relinquishing control and wisely replacing it with self examination."
I don't want and won't let a hero enable me if I can and learned they certainly will rob me and others of adding thier voices, making my own mistakes, learning by my own mistakes etc... which is the wisdom of "each group being autonomous"...and NOT always thinking and assuming others in authority know what is best.
(My personal footnote #5 etc...) When inviting other "established group members" or even asking ACA WSO questions and others to attend an introductory meeting please be ware of controlling, un-recovered bleeding deacons and know it all controlling heroes, inviting others may actually enable those trying to learn and rob them of of lessons and learning on their own.
Laundry List Trait : "Letting others take the initiative" I feel needs to be balanced in this area.
I sense often information gatherers and 12 step parrots "contolling meetings" do have alot of answers but perhaps use service to avoid their own internal work. Often this is recreating a dysfucntional family, in recovery.
In my personal estimation it takes a controlling bleeding deacon and HEROES quite a while to make it to what is know in recovery language as "an elder statesperson."
I have also seem alot of heroes in recovery attracted to website monitor positions or maybe the position causes them to be controlling?
Suggested A.A. Service Manuel until ACA has their own:
Concept IX
page 36
Good service leaders, together with sound and appropriate methods of choosing them, are at all levels indispensable for the future functioning and SAFETY ........
" First let's remember the the base for our service structure rests on the dedication and ability of service of several thousand GENERAL SERVICE REPRESENTATIVES (GSR's), several hundred area Committee members, and nearly a hundred delegates.
These are the direct agents of the A.A. groups; these are the indispensable linkage between our fellowship and it's world service:
these are the primary Representatives of A.A.'s GROUP CONSCIENCE. without their support and activity we could not operate permanently at all."
Also some suggestions from the parent program: http://www.aa.org/catalog.cfm?origpage=207&product=44
Friday, February 5, 2010
Date: Fri, November 21, 2008 11:14 am (answered 7 April 2009)From: "Patrick B." Subject: ACA WSO Abuse
Hello Agent Orange,
First I would like to say thank you for your website. I have had a few problems in my life and I seem to be slowly coming completely out of my 12 steppism. I do love the ideal of a group to share with but ....a group of sickies can be very dangerous to me!
I wonder if you are aware ACA has their own 2006 Big Red Book out now? I have come across some sick behavior on their website and at the ACA phone bridge meetings. I am currently banned from their site. I believe it is because I have made it a point to make them aware they are not staying within their own traditions. The current charman has his picture in a NACOA newsletter... although he was only an ACA WSO board member at the time in 2005. There is also currently a board member directly affiliating her therapy business to ACA. I addressed this to all the board members and they seem to think I need to stop promoting conflict... yet she still continues to make money off ACA.
I have saved a few examples of the moderator abuse I received from three seperate moderators and the "Letter of Shame" dismissing me from the website. I also have direct links to these other two examples, if you are interested.
Sadly ACA seems to be the best game in town that I have found as far as 21st century psychology recovery groups...(I still have lots of issues with the 12 steps). If these first few I met so far in ACA are an example of ACA as a whole these guys seem to be the sickest on the block! There probably have been lots simply abused then eliminated from the ACA WSO Forums and probably lots more to come!
I was warned it may even be a pyramid scam only to sell and promote the ACA Text and to benefit the others directly linked to ACA. I can provide examples on the ACA WSO website directly linking The Carom Foundation, Ernie L., and Marty S's personal work address and his full name.
It is very possible these are honest mistakes but the fact I have pointed them out over and over and nobody seems to care is a sign to me that there is something else going on... and or possibly some major ignorance.... they are all ACA's and have ACA issues. What gets me is several board members call "themselves" Oldtimers... I really hate that!
Anyway I am building up a dangerous resentment... lol. I will be happy to share all info I have... but please bear with me I do not have much skills on the computer.
I hope to hear from you!
ACA WSO Multiple Abuse VictimPatrick
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-letters108.html
Hello Agent Orange,
First I would like to say thank you for your website. I have had a few problems in my life and I seem to be slowly coming completely out of my 12 steppism. I do love the ideal of a group to share with but ....a group of sickies can be very dangerous to me!
I wonder if you are aware ACA has their own 2006 Big Red Book out now? I have come across some sick behavior on their website and at the ACA phone bridge meetings. I am currently banned from their site. I believe it is because I have made it a point to make them aware they are not staying within their own traditions. The current charman has his picture in a NACOA newsletter... although he was only an ACA WSO board member at the time in 2005. There is also currently a board member directly affiliating her therapy business to ACA. I addressed this to all the board members and they seem to think I need to stop promoting conflict... yet she still continues to make money off ACA.
I have saved a few examples of the moderator abuse I received from three seperate moderators and the "Letter of Shame" dismissing me from the website. I also have direct links to these other two examples, if you are interested.
Sadly ACA seems to be the best game in town that I have found as far as 21st century psychology recovery groups...(I still have lots of issues with the 12 steps). If these first few I met so far in ACA are an example of ACA as a whole these guys seem to be the sickest on the block! There probably have been lots simply abused then eliminated from the ACA WSO Forums and probably lots more to come!
I was warned it may even be a pyramid scam only to sell and promote the ACA Text and to benefit the others directly linked to ACA. I can provide examples on the ACA WSO website directly linking The Carom Foundation, Ernie L., and Marty S's personal work address and his full name.
It is very possible these are honest mistakes but the fact I have pointed them out over and over and nobody seems to care is a sign to me that there is something else going on... and or possibly some major ignorance.... they are all ACA's and have ACA issues. What gets me is several board members call "themselves" Oldtimers... I really hate that!
Anyway I am building up a dangerous resentment... lol. I will be happy to share all info I have... but please bear with me I do not have much skills on the computer.
I hope to hear from you!
ACA WSO Multiple Abuse VictimPatrick
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-letters108.html
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